GROWING OLD AIN’T FOR PUSSIES!!!

“Ch-ch-changes

There’s gonna have to be a different man

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time”

With age comes a certain amount of wisdom and I think I know what Bowie was talking about. His interpretation may be a bit extreme because David Bowie was a rock chameleon, constantly reinventing himself. The song sums up his career oddly, though, looking forward. That’s because Changes came out in early 1972, before Bowie was a force in Rock. It really only became popular after his follow up album, Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, made him a star. It was then that people went back and looked at some of the work he had done prior. And, of course, the great body of work he left us after Ziggy Stardust. Oddly enough, Changes became one of his most iconic songs even though people barely took notice of it when it was first released Through it all, he never stopped changing and reinventing himself.

In a way, I have reinvented myself a few times as well. Perhaps not as drastically as Bowie, but in subtle ways. For example, about 10 years ago I reinvented myself as The Mad Hatter. That’s when I started wearing hats. Prior to that, the only time I wore a hat was a baseball cap when I was at work in the machine shop. That was by necessity to keep hot chips from landing on my head and singing my hair. Anybody who’s ever run an engine lathe knows exactly what I’m talking about. I had picked up a very cool-looking steampunk hat somewhere and I began to wear it…a lot. I found that people responded to the hat in a positive way. I also discovered it was great for networking, which was something I was getting into for my fledgling real estate business. Like most people I am terrible with names. I will generally forget your name about 30 seconds after meeting you. I realized that people may not remember my name, but they remembered the unique hat and I started to grow quite a collection of them, which is fairly extensive now. In fact, these days I never leave the house without wearing a hat of some type. Anybody that has come to know me in the last 10 years, since I moved to Bakersfield, would think it out of place to see me anywhere without a hat of some kind. Anybody from my previous life, pre-Bakersfield, would probably be asking “What’s with the hat?”

“Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older

Time may change me

But I can’t trace time”

Apologies to the late Mr. Bowie, but this is a great song. When I started to think about writing this blog, the song immediately sprang to mind. That second line, “Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older”, really sums up my life after 60, and 60 does come pretty soon. Seems like only yesterday I was 40, and the day before that I was still in my 30s. Why, just last week I was 10 years old and crushing on my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Brockway, while terrorizing the neighborhood playing army or having rock fights with my buddies. Kids get in a rock fight these days and next thing you know somebody is getting sued. The summers were spent in bare feet and shorts, putting off the start of the dreaded school year for as long as possible. I think the only time I wore shoes was when playing baseball on a truly horrible little league team.

Sixty comes along way to soon. Still, I thought I was in reasonably good shape for my age. How wrong I was. You see, old age is a sneaky bastard. You don’t wake up on your 60th birthday with hair growing everywhere except your head, a paunch from too many donuts and Big Macs, and enough aches and pains to fill Grey’s Anatomy. No, it is much more subtle than that. He hits you in small doses here and there. In my twenties I had a 32-inch waist and wore a belt. In my thirties the belt became unnecessary. Later, they changed the system of measurement. I know this because all of the sudden 32 inches began to get smaller. I had to go to a 34-inch waist, which was really a 32”. Still later they changed it again and the “new 32” was a 36-inch waist. I had plenty of other symptoms, which I chose to ignore, because that’s how the bastard old age works. He says “You’re fine. Just ignore the fact that when you pee it burns and your urine is red. It’s all part of getting older.” (No those were not two of my symptoms). My doctor was always asking if I noticed any swelling in my feet or ankles, a sign of diabetes. Honestly, I didn’t even know what that question meant, I do now. Simply put, my shoes were getting tighter, something I chose to ignore or, at least, didn’t seem to pay it much attention. I was generally tired and lethargic, which I attributed to not getting enough sleep because I was constantly getting up to pee, which are both signs of diabetes. I figured my nocturnal bathroom habits were a result of an enlarged prostate, something I was planning to have checked right about the time I had the heart issue. I was always thirsty, but I work in a hot machine shop all day, never mind that I seemed to be thirstier recently than I had in the past. I was getting winded on the walk from my workstation in the back of the machine shop to the office in front, a distance of perhaps 150 yards. But I was 64 and needed to get more exercise and lose some weight. I think I tended to look at each of these symptoms on an individual basis. Each one, by itself while possibly cause for concern, was not a huge red flag. But had I just stepped back and looked at the bigger picture, I think I would have seen that these are not indications of a healthy individual.

I discovered this the hard way when, on March 13^th, I found myself in the hospital with arterial fibrillation, or a-fib for short. If you have been following me, you know all about that and I won’t go into a lot of detail here. Suffice it to say, I had a potentially serious heart condition, AND was diagnosed with diabetes AND sleep apnea. When I went into the hospital, I had a resting heartrate that was peaking at 180 BPM, my blood pressure was elevated, and I weighed in at 248 pounds. Today my resting heartrate is consistently in the low 50 BPM range, my blood pressure is usually around 110/70 and, as of this morning, my weight was 200.6 pounds. It has been 107 days since I was admitted to the hospital and now my shoes fit, my clothes don’t, I’m not exhausted or thirsty all the time, and I can sleep through the night without interruption. People, especially those I have not seen in a while or on a regular basis, have started to notice and ask me how I am doing it. One of the more flattering comments came from a friend I ran into recently but hadn’t seen in about six months. She said, “Hey Slim, howz it going?” Of course, there is always the possibility she is horrible with names and simply forgot mine.

How am I doing it? Well, I’ll tell you right now, getting older is not for pussies. It takes a lot of work. While in my 20s and 30s I did, as do most people, abuse myself. Self-abuse is easy. I experimented with drugs and, while I had my first drink at 14, I didn’t immerse myself in alcohol until I was 21. I practically lived on junk food and was up all hours of the night partying. I was no Angel, to say the least. About the only drugs I wouldn’t try, thankfully, was anything that involved needles. I also never tried LSD, mostly because I’m something of a control freak and I was afraid of having a bad trip and losing control. I experimented with PCP or, as it was known then, Angel dust. I looked at it as marijuana on steroids. I had heard all of the stories about people on Angel dust having superhuman strength and weird trips, but I never experienced any of that. My attitude was, it’s all propaganda put out by the man. Let’s face it, it was the 70s and 80s and we were a generation with a huge chip on our shoulder. Very rebellious and all kinds of anti-establishment. Just listen to some of the music that came out during those years. All in all, it was a very interesting time to grow up and you know what they said back then, never trust anyone over the age of 30. Turns out those 30-year-olds knew what they were talking about.

I abused myself in other ways besides drugs. When I was 18, I got a job working at Carl’s Jr. and for two years I practically lived on that food. Since then, my diet has always included an inordinate amount of junk food. But heck, doesn’t everybody’s. My generation was raised on Big Macs, Whoppers, and Jumbo Jacks. Those were also my party days. Most of the time, since I had my own apartment, it was party central. I loved to go dancing at the clubs and, living in LA, I had a lot to choose from. In the Valley we had the Palomino, the Country Club, Filthy McNasty’s (later FM Station), Womphoppers, and others. Just over the hill, in Hollywood, there was the K-rock Cabaret, the Tropicana, Whiskeys, the Viper Room, and Gazzarri’s. We drank, we smoked pot, and we danced all night while listening to high decibel rock. Many a night I didn’t get to bed before dawn.

Forty years of excess, too much partying and junk food, not having a regular exercise program for the last thirty years. It all caught up with me. At the end of 1980 I edged past 200 pounds for the first time in my life, and I never looked back, to my detriment. For the past ten or 15 years my weight has fluctuated between 230 pounds and 250 pounds. I was also a borderline diabetic, something I should have probably taken more seriously since diabetes runs in the family. But I felt okay, although okay is very relative. I obviously wasn’t in the same shape I was 30 years ago but, looking around at guys my age, I thought I was in better shape than most. My three day stay in the hospital served as a wake-up call.

Ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strain

Ch-ch-changes

Don’t want to be a richer man

Ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strain

Ch-ch-changes

Just gonna have to be a different man

Music, and song lyrics, are open to interpretation. The same lyrics can mean different things to different people. To me, facing the strain means owning up to my poor living habits and the strain I have put on my body over the years. Since March 13, my priorities have changed. I don’t need to be a richer man! I have come to realize that the saying “He who dies with the most toys, wins”, may not necessarily be the best philosophy by which to live one’s life. I’ve always said I’m going to live to be 100 but, to do that, I’m gonna have to be a different man. So now I’m working on getting healthy and reinventing myself…yet again. It hasn’t been easy as this represents an entire lifestyle change. I’ve turned my OCD loose, which has actually helped me to form healthy habits.

Of course, diet is a major component of this change. Over the years I’ve tried a lot of different strategies to lose weight. Nutrisystem worked for a while, until it didn’t. I’ve experimented with Atkins and keto. Sometimes I would fast and not eat anything for two or three days which, by the way, is very unhealthy. I could usually get my weight down to about 230 pounds, perhaps slightly less for a day or two. But 230 pounds is where I always seemed to hit a wall and I could never sustain a weight below that. Like most people, I usually gain that weight over the holidays, and I could quickly drop 10 or 15 pounds in January and February. This past year I gained the weight, as usual, but couldn’t lose it. I think that’s about the time I crossed the line and became a full-blown diabetic.

So, what did I do differently to make it work this time? And can I keep the weight off? Well, fear of dying is a great motivator. Although, to be honest, I’m not as fearful of dying as I was in my youth. I think, as we mature, we come to accept the fact that life is a terminal disease. Our time here is limited, so we should make the best use of it that we can. I just want to go peacefully in my sleep and not screaming and crying like all the other passengers in my car. But I’m also not ready to go just yet and I knew, if I wanted to stick around, I was going to have to make some Changes. This time around, I’m doing it under a doctor’s supervision. In fact, I am working with a team of doctors. I now have a cardiologist, a dietitian, and my regular GP, as well as a doctor that monitors my weight, BP, heart rate, blood sugar, and medications.

I was told to reduce my daily sodium intake to around 1500 milligrams, my calories to less than 2000, and less than 200 carbs. Fifteen hundred milligrams of sodium a day is hard. If you don’t think so, you should try it. I started reading labels and was amazed at how much sodium is in the processed food that we eat. Some of the dinners I had in my freezer had over 1200 milligrams of sodium in one serving. Throw in a soda and a piece of buttered bread and pffft, I’m done for the day. One of my favorite meals is an In-N-Out double double animal style and animal fries, all washed down by a chocolate milkshake. That meal alone contains 2,585 milligrams of sodium, 109 grams of fat, 160 milligrams of cholesterol, 62 grams of protein, 1,850 calories, and 159 carbs. I won’t be going to In-N-Out for a while. In the beginning, it was hard just to get my sodium intake down to around 2500 milligrams. But, over time, it has become easier. Now, a lot of days will see 1500 milligrams or less, but I have settled in to around 1500 milligrams to 1800 milligrams on a typical day. I had the same issues trying to reduce my calories and carbs. But, as with sodium, I have settled in at a comfortable level and I’m consistently below 2000 calories a day and around 150 to 180 carbs. I have even created a couple of spreadsheets. That’s where my OCD comes in handy. I now compulsively weigh all of my food and record the sodium, fat, cholesterol, protein, calories, and carbs. I have one spreadsheet that I use to record my daily nutritional intake as well as my daily weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, heart rate, and oxygen. I also monitor my liquid intake and try to drink no more than 60 or 72 ounces of liquids a day. On a second spreadsheet I have created a list of foods that I eat with serving size and nutritional values.

So, what do I eat and what have I given up, I mean besides In-N-Out Burger? Well, first of all, I was able to quit everything cold turkey. White food is out. That means no white rice, no white pasta, no flour, no white bread, and no sugar. I now eat brown rice, wheat pasta, wheat bread, and sugar substitute (although I’m trying to wean myself off of that). I have discovered baking with almond flour is a nice substitute. I have made chocolate chip cookies and pancakes using it. As for bread, I will occasionally indulge in wheat bread, but I have found Ezekiel bread and Dave’s bread to be the healthiest alternatives. I compulsively read labels and look at ingredients, trying to buy foods that are low in sodium, calories, and carbs and have all, or nearly all, natural ingredients and no chemical additives. Stay away from anything that says enriched. I have known this for years. Ingredients like enriched flour mean that the process of making the flour has stripped off all the natural vitamins, which are then replaced artificially. The problem here, is your body has a very difficult time breaking the so called ‘enriched vitamins’ down into digestible and nutritious byproducts. I’ve replaced 2% milk with almond milk. For the first three weeks, after I was diagnosed, I didn’t have any red meat, relying mostly on seafood, chicken, and a lot of turkey. Even now, after four months, I can count the number of times I’ve had red meat on one hand, and still no In-N-Out. My dietitian recommends eating meals that are half vegetables, one quarter protein, and one quarter carbs. I’m still working on getting the balance just right. Somehow, a salad for breakfast just doesn’t seem proper. Although eggs or cereal for dinner is just fine. I gave up cigars, which is only difficult when I find myself downwind of one. I’m not much of a water drinker, although I am drinking more water these days. I finally stopped drinking fruit juice, mostly orange, because of the sugar content. I will use apple juice as a sweetener when I bake though. I don’t drink any soda except an occasional diet soda. I do like sparkling ice which has no calories, carbs, sodium, or anything else really. I also drink a lot of diet green tea, which has no caffeine. Had to give up Monsters, (I used to have one at work every morning), because of the caffeine. Bad heart you know. I also gave up alcohol. I was never a heavy drinker, but I might have two and occasionally three cocktails with dinner on those rare occasions when we ate out. Or I might go to a friend’s house on Saturday evening and split a bottle of wine. The hard alcohol is gone, although I did have a rum drink a few weeks ago when we explored the Sinking Ship. That’s from a previous blog. And the only wine I’ve had is a taste of my wife’s wine at dinner once or twice, again, when we went out to eat, which, on average, is about once or twice a month. I haven’t had bacon, or pork of any kind, since March. I had my first, and only, donut last Friday. I used to treat the machine shop where I work to donuts once or twice a month on Fridays. I would usually have two or sometimes three donuts myself. I had been bouncing around 205 pounds for a couple of weeks and I told myself if I can get below 205 pounds for two consecutive days, I would treat the shop to donuts and have just ONE myself. So, right or wrong, I used the donut as a motivator. Not only did it work but, because I knew I was having a donut that day, I really reduced my carb and calorie intake the rest of the day and actually had lost a pound and a half when I weighed myself the next morning.

That’s a lot of what I don’t eat. Here’s what I do eat. A lot of avocados and more eggs than in the past. I have Greek yogurt every morning with breakfast. Heck, I eat breakfast every morning where I rarely did before. Popcorn is a good snack as long as it has little or no salt. We go through a lot of peanut butter at my house. I have peanut butter and celery with lunch almost every day. I also make a great fruit smoothie that includes two tablespoons of the creamy mess and, of course, when I’m prepping, I share peanut butter with my dog because, well, it’s hilarious! I eat string cheese almost every day and usually have radishes and/or carrots at lunch. Occasionally a hard-boiled egg. Turkey or tuna fish sandwiches are regularly part of my lunch. I eat a lot of salads, I usually have them with spinach, celery, red onions, and maybe some cucumber or carrots or mushrooms. I’ll throw in some shredded chicken, slivered almonds, and blueberries or blackberries. For that matter I eat a lot more blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. I love strawberries too, but they don’t keep very well. For salad dressing, I opt for vinaigrettes, which tend to be low in carbs and sodium. Trader Joe’s and Brianna make very good dressings that fit that bill or, occasionally, I’ll make my own.

Two important aspects are portion control and regular meals. As I said, I now weigh most of my meals. There was a time when I would have a bag of Hampton salted peanuts by my machine that I would snack on all day long, thinking “Hey, they’re peanuts. High in protein and nut oils. Good for me!” Well, first of all, way too much salt. Second of all, way too many peanuts. So now I snack on almonds or granola and then only in premeasured portions of 25 to 30 grams. For breakfast I will have cold cereal weighed out in a single serving, or two eggs, or steel cut oatmeal (avoid instant oatmeal). I’ll have 4 ounces of almond milk with the cereal and 25 to 30 grams of blueberries on top. I stay away from the sweet cereals and try to stick to those low in carbs and sodium and high in fiber. Raisin bran, Multigrain Cheerios, Cinnamon Life, or Catalina Crunch Cinnamon all fit the bill. I’ll have a Greek yogurt on the side and an 8-ounce glass of iced tea. I try to eat something at regular intervals of every three hours. I’ll have a mid-morning snack of 135 grams of cherries (with pits), or an apple, a red pear, or 30 ounces of granola. At lunch, instead of a full sandwich, I eat half a sandwich. Even healthy breads tend to be high in carbs. Or, if I’m trying to cut carbs, I’ll have a large spinach salad. I’ll also have a piece of string cheese, one celery stalk with peanut butter, and carrots or radishes (sometimes both). An afternoon snack might be almonds or granola. I might have a piece of fresh fruit, but I try to eat fruit (except berries which are a so-called super food) only once a day due to the high carb content. I tend to mix it up at dinner. Sometimes I just have a big salad with shredded chicken in it. On the weekends, especially Sundays, I like to make a big bowl of vegetable and barley soup, or stuffed bell peppers, or grilled chicken, something of that sort, so we can have the leftovers during the week. Another new favorite is turkey burgers although I have those on Dave’s bread to keep the calorie and carb count down. We’ve also discovered frozen grilled vegetables. These are quick and easy to make and are generally low in carbs and calories, although I read the labels to make sure of what I’m getting. At dinner especially, I weigh my portions and record the nutritional values. I don’t go back for seconds anymore. When we go out to dinner, sometimes my wife and I will split an entree. If not, I make it a point to bring leftovers home in a doggy bag, something I never did before. I spend a lot of time on food prep. Not only do I cook more often but on Sundays I will spend a couple of hours cutting the ends off radishes, washing them, and putting them in Tupperware. Tupperware is my new best friend. I’ll prep a full week of celery and peanut butter and store it in TW. The leftover celery is chopped up for a large salad or put in another TW container filled with ice water (it stays fresher). I’ll put my berries in TW containers as well as carrots, chopped red onion, and chopped green onions. I’ll weigh an entire bag of almonds or granola out into 28-gram portions (I now know that 28 grams equals one ounce. Bet you didn’t know that). I put those in sandwich bags and put those pre-portioned bags in another TW container. If I make a spinach salad or tuna salad or anything with multiple ingredients, I weigh each ingredient and record it, the weight, and all the nutritional data in my spread sheet. I total everything up and when I have a serving, I weigh it out, figure what percentage it is of the whole, and multiply my nutrition totals by that percentage. Nobody ever told me getting older would involve soooo much math.

Ch-ch-changes

Turn a face the strain

Ch-ch-changes

Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers

Ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strain

Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon we’re gonna get older